Simple Complexities
by CCoco
Summary: On the day of his graduation, James remembers the past seven years at Hogwarts. He thinks about his family, friends, and most importantly, Lily Evans.


Disclaimer: I don't own most of these characters. I just wish I did. Enjoy the story!  
  
I, James Tobias Potter, lead a pretty complicated life. It is kind of hard not to have complications when you go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. At eleven I was sorted into Gryffindor House, which was the exact opposite of what was expected, and my father was the most astonished of all. After I wasn't put into Slytherin, my dear old dad owled me a howler a minute, bombarded the headmaster about changing the rules that say a student only has one chance to be sorted, and made my life miserable over the summer and Christmas Holidays.  
  
And why did I change the centuries-old tradition of Potters in Slytherin? Well, that is what these memories tell, and it's a pretty interesting tale, if I do say so myself. It starts and ends with a girl, now a woman, named Lily Evans.  
  
***  
  
On September first of the year that I was eleven, I boarded the Hogwarts Express with my best friend, Lucius Malfoy. We had been inseparable since we were old enough to walk and talk, best friends since we before we were born. Our fathers were great friends and business partners, and their fathers before them, so it was what was expected. As much as I have tried to forget, I can remember countless vacations at the Malfoys' summer home in France when I was young.  
  
Whenever our families were together, it was always the same thing. Lucius and I would sneak off to play new tricks on the maids and house elves. Our mothers would sit in a parlor and chat about things only high society women like themselves would be interested in. Our fathers would sit in the Library, drinking alcohol and smoking. They talked of their opinions of the world and how proud they were that they could pass on their families' legacies to their children.  
  
Those family legacies were both the birth and death of me. They molded me into what was accepted in the inner circles of the dark wizards that I was expected to join forces with when older. I am proud to say that I have left those legacies behind in the last seven years. However, if not for them, I could not have become what I am today. At seventeen, I no longer want to the earth of muggles and mudbloods or ally myself with the Malfoys. No, today I want only to ally myself with the few that I choose as friends.  
  
I realize that I am rambling here, but as this is my story, I can tell it however I want to. For those who don't wish to listen, then it is you problem because you will be missing the interesting and oh-so-complicated story of my life so far.  
  
Before I went off on that tangent I was about to tell you what happened on my first day at Hogwarts, and, more importantly, the day that I met Lily Evans.  
  
As I said, Lucius and I got onto the train together. Soon, though, Lucius went off to talk with his friend Narcissa, who had been betrothed to him since birth. I headed towards the back of the train to find an unoccupied compartment. When I reached one and unloaded my belongings into it, I sat down and started to read a quidditch magazine.  
  
It wasn't long before I was interrupted by a knock on the door. A boy with dark brown hair rushed into the compartment before I had the chance to say, "Come in." He continued to act oddly, squeezing himself up against the door so that he couldn't be seen from anyone who looked in the windows.  
  
Apparently he was hiding from someone because a minute later another boy's face appeared in the window and scanned the compartment for someone other than me. As soon as the face vanished from the tiny window, the boy against the door sat down across from me.  
  
"Sorry about that. I was hiding from my brother and his friends. They like to make fun of me a lot. I'm Sirius Black." He smiled widely as he talked.  
  
"James Potter. Nice to meet you," I responded. "Is this your first year at Hogwarts?"  
  
"Yup. Yours too?"  
  
"Yes." I had already decided that I liked this boy, which was mostly due to the fact that he was so unlike the people my age that I had ever experienced. All the boys that I had considered friends before that day, Lucius included, were proper and courteous when introduced to someone for the first time. Sirius, however, was chewing on bubble gum with his mouth open rather loudly, blowing large bubbles and occasionally having to peel gum off his nose when they popped.  
  
The two of us talked for a while, mostly of what we expected at school. I learned that Sirius wanted to be in Gryffindor, and when I told him that I was going to be in Slytherin, he didn't turn cold, as I had expected. Instead he asked me why I was so sure of where I would be.  
  
"I know I'll be there. My entire family are Slytherins, so I will be, too." It had always been a given, right up there with a large inheritance and an important Ministry job.  
  
"Everyone's different. I mean, my brother's in Slytherin, but my mum was a Hufflepuff. It would get boring if we were all the same," said Sirius.  
  
"Where was your dad?"  
  
"My dad didn't go to Hogwarts. He's a muggle." As soon as he said this, my head was screaming at me to get up, call him a mean name, and then go find Lucius. However, something kept me there. I was so amazed that this boy would come right out and say that he was a half-blood. I was always taught that not being a pureblood was something to be ashamed of, yet here was someone telling me openly that his dad is a muggle.  
  
My heart must have recognized that this boy was different from Lucius as far as friends go, and at that time I was pretty curious as to what made him so different.  
  
Before I could find out more about Sirius, the compartment door opened again and Lucius strutted in. He looked very pleased with himself over something, and took a seat next to me.  
  
"Hello James. Who is this?" Lucius was never one to beat around the bush unless it had to do with a strategy of his. He always had a plan.  
  
"Sirius Black. Cool to meet you," said Sirius, holding out his hand. Lucius didn't take it, instead glancing down at a piece of paper in his hand.  
  
Lucius's father had taken the liberty of getting a list of all the incoming first years and researching their families. The paper in Lucius's hand was the list his father had made of all the children worthy of being his friend.  
  
I remember getting this terrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach when I saw Lucius look down at the paper, because I knew that Sirius wasn't on it. At the same time it felt good, though, because I was realizing something for the first time. What I had finally understood was that what Sirius had said earlier was true. Everyone is different. Family doesn't matter unless you want them to matter. My family had never really loved me, and even if I thought I had loved them, I now knew that it was more a forced respect.  
  
I saw Lucius's mouth open and I knew it would be to say something mean. My tiny eleven-year-old brain fought with itself inside my head over what to do. Before I had time to really think it over, I just burst out what I wanted to.  
  
"Lucius, Sirius and I were talking, so could you please shut up or leave?" It came out a lot calmer than I had meant it to.  
  
Sirius was looking at me like I was crazy. I knew he was thinking that I was being mean to Lucius without a reason, so I decided to just push Lucius out of the compartment myself. I had always been taller and stronger than him, so I was easily able to kick him into the hall. He was always a scrawny little mama's boy.  
  
After shoving him into the hallway and ignoring the "You freak! I'll tell your fath-" that broke from his mouth as I slammed the door shut, I turned around.  
  
It took a few minutes for me to explain how I knew Lucius and why he was such an asshole. Sirius seemed very impressed at how I had handled the situation, and laughed along with me about the look on Lucius's face when I stood up to him.  
  
Neither meeting Sirius nor coming to the realization that I could think for myself were the best part of that train ride. No, the best part came about halfway through the ride, in the middle of when the two of us were talking about quidditch. We were both in love with the sport, and could talk for hours about it. We still can and do.  
  
Sirius's comment about why the Wasps were better than the cannons was cut short as the compartment door slid open again. Thinking it was going to be Lucius again, I jumped up, ready to defend myself.  
  
But it wasn't Lucius who stepped in, but a girl our age. She had long shiny red hair and the most gorgeous eyes that I have ever seen. They were a clear, penetrating green, and when I looked into them I felt as if she could see into my soul. Now, looking back, I realize that there was some truth in that. Normally, I am not this poetically mushy, but her eyes could always make me feel like someone I'm not.  
  
It took a kick in the shins from Sirius before I remembered that I was still standing and staring at her. She sat down with us and introduced herself. I learned that her name was Lily Evans and she was eleven like us.  
  
The three of us talked for the rest of the ride to Hogwarts, and I couldn't remember a time that I had been as happy as that. When we exited the train and headed into the castle, Lucius caught my eye and sneered. He was walking with Snape and Lestrange, two boys that I recognized from the parties my parents threw.  
  
I looked away from him quickly, instead looking at my two newest friends. I remember being really amazed at what had happened in just a morning. Instead of being with my long-time "best friend," I was walking with two people who my father would hate, a muggle-born witch and a half-blood wizard. I smiled as I though about what my parents would say. I found that I really didn't give a damn anymore.  
  
***  
  
I knew I was going to be in trouble the moment the sorting hat touched my head. I was so scared right then that I thought I would faint. I knew that this one choice would have terrible consequences no matter how I chose. If I was sorted into Slytherin I would lose the first real friends I had ever made, because I was almost certain that Lily and Sirius wouldn't like me as much if I skulked around the dungeons. On the other hand, if I was chosen for Gryffindor and went with my new friends, my father would make my life a living (or maybe a not-so-living) hell when I returned to the estate for the holidays.  
  
I didn't have time to argue with the hat, though, because the minute it touched my hair it started to yell its decision. I can still remember my thoughts at the moment as if I were watching words crawl across my mind. I was becoming desperate, imagining that the hat would make the wrong decision and I would end up in Slytherin and become just like my father. But I was wrong, and the hat trumpeted, "GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
I was so happy that I could have cried (but not in front of all those people). I ran to the Gryffindor table and got a high five from Sirius and a huge, dazzling smile from Lily.  
  
***  
  
And it turned out that I was dead right (no pun intended) about my dear old dad making my life hell over the holidays. When I got back to school after the Christmas break, I had two black eyes and a broken arm.  
  
I never told anyone that it was my father who had done it, but I think Dumbledore guessed. He called me up to his office the second I got off the train. How he knew about my injuries without actually seeing me still makes me confused, but he knew somehow. Professor Dumbledore talked to me about staying at Hogwarts for Christmas and Easter breaks and he later arranged for me to stay with my friends' families for most of the summers until I graduate.  
  
When people asked how I had gotten hurt, I devised far-fetched, ludicrous stories that I changed every time I spoke to someone new. As for my friends, I told them that I had been in a Quidditch accident. This was believable because Sirius and I were always playing and going on about Quidditch. It was common knowledge that we would be trying out for the house team in second year (and we made it of course).  
  
I don't know how Sirius and I kept our grades up while we were constantly practicing flying. I think it was Lily's doing. She certainly helped everyone out a lot. I don't know if I've already said this, but my friends totally changed me.  
  
***  
  
At this point you're probably wondering when I'm going to tell you more about my friends- so I'll get on it.  
  
Sirius was my best friend- funny and mischievous, but also loyal and understanding. He did, however, have an evil side to him, which came out every time we pulled a prank or tricked a teacher. He always knew just how to charm his way out of trouble, too. He's the type of guy who's one in a million, and we've already decided that we'll be best men at each other's weddings, godfathers to each other's children, yadda yadda yadda. He's totally turned me around.  
  
One of my other great friends, Remus Lupin, is the most sensitive out of the Marauders. He always knows how to make anyone feel better, and has a remedy for everything. Despite the fact that he always looks tired under his sandy hair and usually has bags under his dark eyes, he has a really great sense of humor and has no problem laughing out loud. He rarely makes jokes, but when he does, they are hilarious. He's funny in a more sarcastic kind of way. Remus is pretty studious, and has gotten the least amount of detentions of all four of us (though he's still received a good amount).  
  
Peter is the last of the Marauders, the shortest of the Marauders, the sneakiest of the Marauders, and the slowest of the Marauders. Like Sirius, Peter knows how to get out of trouble, but usually he weasels his way out. One of his most cherished skills is that he has a good memory and can take good notes, because it was Peter who actually recorded all the information for our map of Hogwarts, though we all researched for it and collaborated on it.  
  
There are three Gryffindor girls in out year- Lily Evans, Elle Santori, and Kathleen Brink. When the three of them found out that us four guys had formed the Marauders, they retaliated by forming the Lollies.  
  
To this day I have not idea why they call themselves that, and all I have been able to get out of Lily is that there is a rather long and amusing story behind it. And she only gave me this much information after I sat on her legs for an hour and tickled the bottoms of her feet. (It took an hour because I didn't know where she was ticklish and I had to tickle her everywhere before I thought to try under her shoes.)  
  
Sirius has tried for years to embarrass the information behind their group name out of them by creating hilarious stories that would explain it. He almost got himself killed by Kathleen and Elle when he made up one in fifth year that was quite dirty. Lily just laughed it off, but boy were the other two mad. Even as I think about it two years later, I am laughing. It was that funny to see Sirius cowering on the Common Room floor with Kathleen towering over him, yelling and occasionally emphasizing her screeches with hard kicks into his stomach.  
  
Kathleen Brink is the quietest of the girls; she likes to read romance novels and cries over muggle movies. I know these things because Kathleen, Elle, Sirius, and me went home with Lily the summer after fifth year. While Sirius, Elle, and Kathleen went home after a few weeks, I stayed there the whole summer. Here I am getting off topic again. As I was saying, Kathleen cried over every muggle film we rented and spend hours reading romance novels at the beach while the rest of us splashed into the water. Lily and Elle always teased her about those books, and it took Sirius and I until sixth year to figure out why. It turns out that they get pretty steamy in between all the mushy stuff. (After this shocking revelation, Sirius had built up a collection of smutty romances to rival Kathleen's. He thinks I don't know about the secret stash under his bed, but I do.) However, don't get the impression that Kathleen is quiet and boring. She certainly gets loud and exciting when she gets mad. It pretty much sums it up to say that she is very emotional. She is either crying or yelling. No, I'm just joking. She gets normal sometimes.  
  
Elle is the flirtiest of the Lollies (although Lily definitely has her moments of flirtatiousness), always up for a tickle war with me or to give a backrub to Sirius. She's very artistic and creative. She gets creative with her uniform, anyway. Out of class her skirt is incredibly short, but in view of any teachers it is standard length. She must have invented that charm. She'll grow up to be a magical fashion designer or something.  
  
Lily, the last of the Lollies, is my best friend besides Sirius. It's almost hard to describe her, because she's one of the main things that make my life so complicated. She makes everything complicated, but in a good way. Out of all the people I have ever met in my eighteen years of existence, Lily smiles the most and frowns the least. Actually, I have only seen her mad once, and that was at the end of term in fourth year. She and I had gone out for a few months, but decided that we should just be friends. She got mad on the train ride home when we were joking around and I told her I loved her. I mean, sure I was joking, but I guess it was too soon after we broke up to joke about that, and she just flipped. I sincerely hope that I never have to experience Lily in a bad moon again, because she's like a tornado. Much worse that Kathleen. And that's saying something.  
  
But when she's happy, its like you have to be happy, otherwise the universe will be unbalanced. Do you know what I mean? Probably not. I never make much sense when I talk about Lily. She is just such a complicated person- it seems like I learn something new about her every day. Just last week I learned that she loves to dance no matter what. There is little that she doesn't love about the world. Anyway, it was about two in the morning last Saturday, and Lily and I were alone in the Common Room. We were working on a project for Charms when all of a sudden she jumps up from the couch and says to me, "Let's dance!" When I told her that there was no music she shrieked at me, "You don't need music to dance!" She pulled me up and we danced until Sirius and Remus came in at four in the morning and caught us slow dancing in front of the fire. Needless to say, they teased me quite a lot about that one.  
  
I could go on and on about Lily for hours, but that wouldn't get me very far. We are a day away from Graduation and I have to make a speech about what I have learned at Hogwarts. (This is because I'm Head Boy- don't bother asking me how that happened.) Truthfully, I have no idea what to say, and there are less than twelve hours until I take the podium.  
  
My problem isn't that I lack something to say, but that there's so much that I want to pour out that I don't know what to choose. Whenever I try to think of the speech, all I see is Remus, Sirius, and Peter laughing, Kathleen and Elle crying over a movie, and Lily beaming at me as she asked me to dance.  
  
My quill just dripped ink onto my blank piece of parchment. I still have no idea what to write. Hmmm.. Maybe a quick nap will refresh me.  
  
***  
  
"James. James. James!" I could hear the angel in my dream calling out to me, and then someone shook me awake.  
  
Lily had woken me up. I looked at my watch. Big mistake.  
  
"Oh no, Lily! It's six in the morning and I don't have a speech planned! We graduate in six hours! I'm so screwed!"  
  
"Come on, James. I want to show you something." She took my hand and pulled me through the portrait hole, down the hallways, and into the Entrance Hall. We went outside and she took me to sit on a little hill that looked over the lake.  
  
"What did you want to show me?" As much as I loved sitting here with her, that speech wasn't going to write itself.  
  
"Just look." It was still dark out, so I couldn't see her face very well, but I knew what she would look like. Her eyes would be sparkling mischievously because she was keeping a secret from me. I just had to ask.  
  
"What's the secret?" Lily was never this quiet unless she was working up her courage to either tell me a secret or to tell me something that I wouldn't like. I had a feeling it was both.  
  
We sat in silence for several minutes, and I was just about to ask her again when the sun came up over the horizon and flooded the hill we were sitting on with red and orange light.  
  
At some point while Lily and I were watching the Sun rise on our last day at Hogwarts, she reached over and took my hand in hers. At that instant, I knew that this would be a moment I would remember forever, seeing the second most beautiful thing in the world while sitting next to the first.  
  
Lily leaned over and put her head on my shoulder, and I bent down and kissed the top of her head.  
  
"I know you came out here to show me this, but I also know that you wanted to tell me something. You're too quiet, Lil," I said.  
  
"What's so wrong with me being quiet?"  
  
"You're never quiet."  
  
"Sometimes things just need to be simple." When she said that I started to laugh. She started too, saying, "What's so funny, James?" She tickled my side as she laughed at me.  
  
"It's..." I was laughing too hard to speak. "It's just that." I suddenly calmed down. "It's just that nothing in our lives is ever simple. It's always too complicated."  
  
"That's your problem, Mister Potter. Have you learned nothing from all these years that you've known me? What have I taught you?" Lily smiled at me, and the sun made her glow more than she normally does.  
  
"You know what your problem is Miss Evans? You just asked me the wrong question."  
  
"Oh, really."  
  
"Yes. You should have asked me what you haven't taught me." With that I leaned in and kissed her right on the lips.  
  
***  
  
Lily was on the podium, talking about how we as the graduating class have to take responsibility in the future and achieve out goals. Her speech was way too planned. Then again, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. After all, I had no plan as to what I was going to say.  
  
"Thank you. And now I am pleased to turn the spotlight over to my very good friends, James Potter." Lily smiled at me as I stood up and walked over to her. She gave me a quick hug and whispered encouragement in my ear.  
  
As she took her seat, I looked at the audience in front of me. There was Lucius sitting in the front row, sneering as usual. Behind him sat my parents, both wearing dark glasses and trying to look as though they didn't know their failure of a son. And there were Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They all smiled at me, and Sirius mouthed "good luck." Finally my eyes landed on Lily, sitting on stage to my right and smiling as if all her dreams had just come true.  
  
I began my speech, still not knowing what would come out.  
  
"I was planning on writing an amazing speech that would move everyone in this audience to tears and laughter. However, I never wrote that speech. Someone very smart told me this morning that sometimes things need to be simple, and my speech is just that. That same person also asked me this morning about what they had taught me. I really couldn't answer them, because that person has taught me so much over the course of seven years that it really blows my mind. Everyone at this school has taught me something. I have learned about magic, sure, but I have learned far more about life and friendship. It's been the best time of my life at Hogwarts, and I am going to really sad to leave here.  
  
"When I arrived here for my first year, I thought I was happy. It didn't take long for me to realize that no matter how happy you are, you can always be happier. So, as much as it hurts to leave Hogwarts behind, I know that there must be somewhere out there that can make me twice as happy.  
  
"In response to the person that asked me what I had learned from them, I finally have an answer. I have to say that the best thing they have taught me is that life should be nothing short of complicated, because if your life is simple, you aren't having enough fun. Thank you and congratulations to the class of-"  
  
I was cut off as something fiery red hit me in the chest. Lily was sobbing into my robes, and all I could do was to pat the top of her head and try not to let my tears out  
  
***  
  
I ducked as several large red and gold fireworks went off right over my head. Sirius, Lily, and I were on the roof of an apartment building in Hogsmeade. (Peter, Remus, Elle, and Kathleen had gone home already.)  
  
Sirius continued to shoot fireworks into the sky, much to the dismay of Lily, who was yelling at him. She didn't want us to get kicked out of the village on our first day living there.  
  
After we all received our diplomas, the three of us walked down to Hogsmeade and into our new apartment. About a week ago the three of us had decided to rent an apartment together for a few months and gets jobs in the village.  
  
It's just too bad that the three of us only had enough to rent a two- bedroom flat, so we're already arguing over sleeping arrangements. Originally it was just going to be us guys, but when Lily had said that she was going to back and live with her parents for a while, we were so outraged that we invited her to move in. It took a while for us to convince her that being an adult and living with parents is totally not cool. So today we moved in. We have two beds, a couch, a kitchen table, a refrigerator, a toilet, a shower, and a sink in our new place. Tomorrow we'll all find jobs.  
  
Lily doesn't seem mad that I kissed her this morning. Actually, she has taken it upon herself to kiss me several times since. I haven't put up a fight.  
  
However, when she kissed me onstage right after I got my diploma, I actually saw my father fall over. Our apartment might not be so scarcely furnished if she hadn't done that, because my "family" came up to me just as they were leaving and told me not to expect my bank account to be in my name when I went to take money out of it. Oh well, that kiss was worth much more than all the gold in my Gringotts vault.  
  
So, even though my parents disowned me for kissing a muggle-born, I'm looking forward to finding that place that will make me twice as happy as I am now. Wherever it is, I'm pretty sure it's someplace near Sirius and Lily. In fact, it might even be this hole-in-the-wall apartment.  
  
The End!  
  
A/N: Please review! I honestly would just die of happiness if you did. And yes, even if your opinion is negative I still want to hear it. 


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